


Never Miss Out on Lev Day

by Kamu



Series: Solely a Pair [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, confused teenage boys who don't know what the fuck a kink is, it's more like leg appreciation but technicalities, minus the subject of interest himself, thigh appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 04:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8875963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamu/pseuds/Kamu
Summary: “Don’t you think that Kuroo-san’s legs are kind of sexy?”Kenma lied. To fix a big fucking problem, you have to meet head-on the big fucking mess.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, those Kuroo figmas are not helping with this leg fixation, man...

It starts out innocently enough. He probably could have avoided all of this and called it a day.

“Don’t you think that Kuroo-san’s legs are kind of sexy?”

Kenma lied. To fix a big fucking problem, you have to meet head-on the big fucking mess.

And Lev’s confiding concerns are absolutely filthy. He’s the typical sixteen years old teenager he should be. Maybe more so. Even Yamamoto, blatant self-proclaimed feminist, is more pure than the first year, who points out the unrelated topic of questionably sexy teenage boy legs like Kenma should care, about his best friend, whose legs he’s seen for years, through various stages of spindly and puberty.

“You decide to talk about this...now?” Kenma says slowly.

He gestures to the rest of the gym, where the rest of the Nekoma volleyball club members are scattered in various states of exhaustion after another gruelling practice.

“Yep,” Lev says. “Is it really not a good time? I wanted to ask everyone’s opinions during practice, but I could never quite get a hold of you.”

Kenma can’t tell him he’s been purposely avoiding him. Physically, Kenma doesn’t mind, but his mental endurance is another factor entirely. Lev is the wearer of that whenever Kenma lets him.

“Wait.” Kenma looks up. “You’ve asked everyone already?”

“Yeah, it’s weird. When I asked Yamamoto-senpai, he clammed up and started doing ladders, even though they’re at the end of the drills! And when I asked Kai-san, he smiled and looked kind of scary? So I left and went to talk with Sou, and then Sou got really red! It was funny until it looked like he couldn’t breath so then I had to try to administer first aid only then did he start breathing normally on his own—”

Kenma clutches his water bottle as if it could protect him from the onslaught of information that is Lev’s rambling.

Yaku pushes Lev out of the way and kind of stands in front of Kenma. “Lev, practice ended already,” he says, his brow furrowing since he interrupted Lev mid-sentence.

“Oh, Yaku-san! Good timing.” Lev smiles and Yaku stiffens as Lev does that stupid bending thing that asshole tall people do when talking to significantly shorter people. “I have a question.”

“Oh?” Yaku relaxes a bit and crosses his arms. “I can’t wait to hear this.”

“It’s about Kuroo-san,” Lev explains.

Yaku clicks his tongue. Hard. “Spit it out,” he says.

“Okay.” Lev inhales. “Do you think Kuroo-san’s legs are sexy—”

Kenma has his eyes focused dazedly on a stained spot on Lev’s red Nekoma practice shirt, and then he’s staring at the wall where a beetle cautiously makes its way toward the clock.

He blinks. Yaku is breathing heavily all hunched and Lev is sprawled on the floor.

“Dude, Lev just teleported dimensions!” Yamamoto cries, clutching his sides and then yelling, “Oh shit, I just pulled something, but holy shit, Yaku-san?”

“Whoa,” Inuoka says star-eyed.

“Did anybody record that?” Kai asks.

Shibayama and Fukunaga raise their hands.

Kai doesn’t give a voice of consent, but he sort of nods. A true neutral party.

“Why—why does he have to be like, like?” Yaku says, gesturing wildly at the prone Lev on the gym floor. “Like Lev!”

Kenma notes the red tint to Yaku’s cheeks, Lev’s corpse, Kai’s amusement, Yamamoto’s moaning about the stitch in his side, Inuoka’s gaze fluttering to the gym doors, the absence of their coaches, and the gaping presence of a captain who should have been here taking control of the situation minutes ago.

“Oh,” Kenma says, “Everyone finally noticed Kuroo has nice legs?”

It’s like the oxygen in the air was sucked away the second the seemingly innocent question slips out.

Kenma realizes then, that he and Lev, grudgingly, are similar in one aspect.

It is not filthy thoughts that provoke them into asking blunt questions that slice through normal conversation.

They just can’t read the fucking mood in a room to save their life.

Or more like, Kenma doesn’t necessarily care. Lev is too naive to consider the consequences.

Before Kenma can end this disaster before it begins, the flames have already spread.

“Fuck! Okay, so I noticed during the first week of practice our first year!” Yamamoto explains in choked guilt, as if confessing when he noticed his captain’s top defining feature was killing him. He glances at Inuoka and glares at the ground, teary-eyed. “It’s not fair, dude! Like no one has legs that shaped and that toned.”

“I didn’t ask,” Kenma says, quietly.

“It’s hard not to have noticed when you’re changing with the guy for three years and he never puts on any pads.” Yaku looks Fucking Pissed, mostly because it’s Kuroo who somehow manages to be cool and lame even as he’s in another room. “He always lands on all fours like some alley cat so he never needs them. As a libero, that fact alone nearly makes me Lose My Shit.”

Again, Kenma thinks, he did not ask.

“Um.” Kenma turns and there Inuoka is, twiddling his fingers nervously, the imaginary stand of a kicked puppy behind him. “I noticed during the training camp. He especially stands out when he’s next to Fukurodani’s Bokuto…”

Kenma thinks, that’s normal. He wants to ask why Inuoka keeps glancing at Kenma, the door, and Yamamoto interchangeably, though. Maybe he noticed the PSP he had tucked away in his shorts...

“Kuroo-san does have nice legs!” Shibayama, the true innocent with a nearly visible stand of a kitten, pipes up.

“He would make an excellent cross country runner,” Kai adds, implying that Kuroo’s leg shape fits with those of the other sport, and that the vice-captain has thought this over thoroughly and considered Kuroo to be a suitable candidate if pushed into doing that sport.

All these anecdotes about Kuroo’s legs make his head spin.

He turns to his last hope. Maybe, Kenma can be saved after all.

Fukunaga meets Kenma’s eye. He slowly blinks and raises his hand, thumb and index finger touching to form a circle and his remaining three fingers raised.

 _There’s nothing wrong with Kuroo-senpai’s legs,_ Kenma imagines his fellow second year communicating telepathically.

It’s the last blow. Kenma cannot be a part of this outright strange and unusual conversation anymore.

“Kenma?” Yaku kneels down by Kenma and searches his pocket for Kenma’s phone. It reads 54%. Yaku sighs in relief and then checks Kenma’s pulse. It’s steady if a little fast, but that can be amounted to exertion from practice.

Yaku stands and spreads his arms out to push back the concerned members. “He’s fine! He just passed out from standing around in his sweat so long.” He gestures for Yamamoto and Inuoka to walk over. “Put him on the bench and get a wet towel. Leave Lev. Kuroo will find him.”

Kenma’s consciousness fades in and out, but he does hear a snippet of conversation as he is being moved from the rather comfortable floor.

“Yamamoto-senpai! Why! I’m...I’m touching them!” This whine distinctly rings with Inuoka’s distress.

“You’re a lucky one. Be grateful that Kuroo isn’t here.” The low rumble is Yamamoto. He speaks in the tone of reverence he reserves when talking about people he idolizes, like Karasuno’s managers. “These childhood friends, I swear…Seriously, what do these Nerima kids eat...?”

Kenma is laid out carefully and something wet is plastered across his forehead. He ends up knocking out again, the need to listen to their conversation evaporating with the heat.

It’s only a few months later that Kenma finds out what Yamamoto and Inuoka were really talking about.

Until then, Kenma keeps All His Shit inside to stew in wait for the perfect catalysts to spark the reaction right out of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up @ [kamuwrites](https://kamuwrites.tumblr.com)


End file.
